By Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com
      I put ‘Players-only meetings’ in the same category as ‘Thinking about retirement,’ ‘Can-this-marriage-be-saved counseling’ and ‘surgically stapled stomachs.’
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      Because once you’ve gone that far in your head, in your heart or in your belly, you are acknowledging that maybe your situation nears being unsalvageable.
      It was old football coach Marv Levy who came up with the retirement one. Think about it: as soon as a wide receiver is contemplating retirement, he’s already half-way to quitting, and is far less likely to sell out his body for an over-the-middle catch.
      It is Dr. Phil who proves to me my theory about late-in-the-game marriage counseling. Ever seen his ‘Dr. Phil family’ that he’s trying to save? They are a collection of miserable and mean-spirited gargoyle people whose unpleasant lives are being made even more intolerable by being surrounded by like-minded losers.
      Is it legal for Dr. Phil to prescribe euthanasia?
      And then there is the belly-staple thing. Forget diet. Forget exercise. Let’s instead. …
      Wait a minute. I just saw myself in the mirror without a shirt. Let me reconsider the belly-staple thing.
      My skepticism regarding players-only meetings, though, I’m keeping that. Dallas followed up one such session with Sunday’s 101-98 loss at Houston, the first to the Rockets in seven outings dating back two years, and the third overall loss for a Mavs team that has in five days gone from looking up at powerhouse contenders to now feeling the hot Grizzlie breath of chasing Memphis just behind in the standings.
      Now, I’m not denying the potentially positive influences. Maybe the fellas gain a little self-awareness. Maybe newcomer Scott Williams has something special to say.
      Heck, given this team’s 39-23 record (terrific but already one more loss than last year), its 11-19 road record and this 0-3 road trip, maybe the players-only thing should be tried again, this time for a vote to bring back those silver Hefty bag traveling duds.
      Seriously, the players-only meeting is less than ingenious; it’s one of the tricks of the trade. In all my years of coaching football at various levels, there were certain tried-and-true motivational tools I could always pull out of the ol’ mental filing cabinet. You know, the ‘you should’ve heard what their team said about you’ trick, effective even with 10-year-olds who never stopped to wonder where I collected my (bogus) info. … what, USA Today is now covering and quoting pee-wee footballers?
      Oh, and there was always the sure-fire ‘The coach is leaving’ ploy. You know, kids are misbehaving or under-performing at practice, so I moan, ‘Fine, if you guys aren’t going to try, than either am I.’ And then I go sit in my car while I watch, from afar, a bunch of little boys try to respectfully please me by orchestrating a practice without me, proving them worthy of my eventual return.
      That’s what this Mavs’ players-only meeting was. It was Michael Finley and Scott Williams and other veterans pulling a trick out of their mental filing cabinet.
      It always worked on 10-year-olds who were dying to get their postgame orange slices. I’m not sure it applies here.