Hairy-Chested
 Assorted 'School Of Fish' Opinions
Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com - Posted: 2004-05-17 00:00:00.000


By Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com
      Sports things I have to get off my hairy chest. …
     

  • The 75-Member Staff has learned – and you heard it from us first -- that governmental higher-ups are so concerned about security in Athens that there is a top-secret backup plan in place to move the whole shindig to Australia. If we’ve got this right, this is CIA-level stuff, information not yet available to the public (except for you). But as it leaks out, watch for more and more basketballers and other Western World jocks to find a way to back out. And can you blame them?
         
  • Can we once and for all put to rest the myth that high-scoring basketball is necessarily more entertaining than the low-scoring variety? Miami-Indy, LA-SA, Sac-Minny and NJ-Det all deserved prime-time attention because they played good basketball – and nobody noticed how rare 100 points was.
         
  • For those who think the Mavs should replace Nellie with Pat Riley: Didn’t Miami suck in the last two years under Riley? And isn’t Miami now a budding powerhouse in the East. … without him?
         
  • A positive thing to come out of the NHL labor dispute: Everyone involved says we might have a shortened season. And nobody involved thinks that would be a bad thing.
         
  • Here’s Peter Vescey on the Mavs’ leadership: “Mark Cuban says he expects Don Nelson to return as coach. Why would the owner have to speculate? Either he's bringing him back or he's not, it's strictly his decision. If Sleazy Mark is waiting for Full Nelson to quit and give up three year's worth of salary, he must be a dot-com doofus. Charles Barkley has a better chance of leaving something on the table.’’
          A news item that makes fun of a “doofus,’’ issues lame nicknames to grownups and makes fun of another person’s weight. Who writes this stuff? Peter – or his fifth-grade daughter?
         
  • From Avery Johnson: "I would be interested in them, if they are interested in me," Johnson said of becoming the head coach of his hometown Hornets. "There's only three head coaching jobs I've ever wanted in my life -- New Orleans, Dallas and San Antonio. Those are jobs that I would retire for, but I can continue playing. It's not like I'm a broken down 39-year-old point guard. Retiring is a big step for me, and I don't have to do it for anything right now."
          We’ll say it again: That sounds like a guy who might like to be a player and an heir apparent. Let’s make it happen in Dallas.
         
  • I know that to Bill Parcells, future Cowboys backup Vinny Testaverde is an ideal fit as a quarterback, a leader and a man. Vinny should know what a compliment that is, given that it’s hard to imagine him being a better quarterback, a leader and a man than also-available Steve Beuerlein.
         
  • The NCAA plan to punish/reward programs for good grades and good graduation results is well-intentioned. But just as schools, coaches and players beat the system now, they will beat the system then. You watch: Tests will simply become easier, and grades will stay acceptable. You watch.
         
  • Now that Cowboys safety Roy Williams has gotten engaged to Destiny’s Child singer Kelly Rowland (with Beyonce certain to be in the wedding), we’re sure we’ll see more PDA’s at Mavs games, where the pair is usually in attendance but had been quite reserved.
         
  • Deion Sanders is leaving the CBS NFL pregame show because he wants $2 mil a year. He says the $1.3 mil CBS offered him isn’t enough because he “knows the market.’’ Deion would be well-advised to call old crony Michael Irvin – who happens to be far superior to Deion in their jobs -- how lofty a salary goal $2 mil really is.
         
  • Os it possible the Rangers are improved because they don’t have the haughty and imposing presence of A-rod in their midst? Sounds crazy, until you remember that the Mariners also got a lot better, and fast, as soon as A-Rod chased happiness elsewhere.
         
  • New Nets ownership, prepping for a move to Brooklyn, has already approached 30 residents who paid $600,000 a year for their apartments to offer them $1.2 mil apiece. That sort of goodwill makes friends, influences people and gets stadiums built. Jerry Jones, are you listening?
         
  • The state of sports journalism today requires Falcons QB Michael Vick to phone an Atlanta radio station to deny he’s gay. And then a local paper writes up an account of the radio visit and expresses skepticism about Vick’s choice of words. What does it all mean? That journalists like Skip Bayless will always be employed, that’s what it means.
         
  • Did you know that in the last 12 years, 20 of the 32 NFL teams have been given new stadiums? That doesn’t mean you have to like it, but it does mean it’s the way sports business is done.
         
  • Some Fort Worth folks (especially media) come off looking small-time and petty for whining about Tiger’s decision to not play the Colonial. Besides the fact that he plays just 17 times a year – meaning he’s skipping a lot of someplaces. … We get: ‘Course doesn’t fit him’? “He’s a pussy. … cat’’? “He’s scared’’? Whatever. … The parochial types in Cowtown might want to shut up before Woods comes up with another reason to skip Colonial in the future besides the very legit reason he has now: He makes more money to play somewhere else that weekend.
         
  • You hate Ameriquest Field? Then you must hate a similarly provocative and new-age move made in Chicago, where they have that one ballpark named for a family that sells chewing gum.
         
  • Mike Ditka was the spokesman for Levitra, but he’s been dropped. Not that Levitra would want us to use the word “dropped.’’
         
  • John McLeod, the ex-Mavs coach now a Denver assistant, is tossing his hat into the Hawks head-coaching ring by noting that he has more energy than “most 66-year-old cats.’’ Of course, by calling himself a “cat,’’ all he’s doing is proving that he’s 66 years old.
         
  • Top Broncos pick Tatum Bell, really did ask Denver for jersey No. 7. But John Elway isn’t bothered by the ignorance of the former DeSoto and Oklahoma State football star. Elway says Bell can have No. 7 “when he rushes for 2,000 yards and 25 touchdowns.’’ Deal.
         
  • If you’re going to give an opinion, check your facts and then machine-gun away. Don’t do it like ESPN’s studio show on the NBA, where we get either unresearched opinions or mamby-pamby opinions. On Sunday morning, Kevin Frazier asked Greg Anthony if Detroit made a mistake in drafting Darko over Carmelo. “I’m not going to say that,’’ replied Greg, before mumbling something about Darko being only 18. Good one, Greg. But isn’t ‘Melo only 19?
         
  • We had no particular reason to root for the Nets until the zany remarks of Larry Brown came spilling from his mouth. Who anointed Brown as the keeper of all that is right and just about NBA coaching?
         
  • Lightning rod baseballer Manny Ramirez recently got some good press when he achieved U.S. citizenship. We were assuming the test was a bit of a challenge until we learned that in the same week, also achieving citizenship was Pam Anderson.
         
  • Julius Jones, says ESPN.com, has more pressure on him than any other NFL rookie. More than Eli? More than Fitzgerald? More than Rivers? Really? Or is that statement simply another piece of evidence that the Cowboys really, really matter?
         
  • It’s difficult to take seriously the protests against that Mavs cartoon that parodied Doug Christie’s wife, especially the protests that claim that the Missus should be off-limits because she, unlike her husband, is not a public figure. Mrs. Christie has a website. She sells fashion on it. And she poses half-nude on it. Is that public enough for you? And why can Doug not be spoken to by other women (not even the Kings PR staff) but Mrs. C can be ogled by anyone with a computer?
         
  • What is Stephen A. Smith so angry about?