Mavs/Shaq/Phil?
 'Fanciful' Thought Full Of Holes
Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com - Posted: 2004-05-28 00:00:00.000


By Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com
The most astounding thing about the Shaq-And-Phil-To-The-Mavs story isn’t that it somehow made it onto MSNBC.com. This is still, after all, ‘only’ the internet, a great place for serious opinions to not be taken seriously.
Nor is the most astounding thing about the crazy story the fact that it was scribbled by an accredited journalist. Hey, if Skip Bayless (long infamous in Dallas for making up Aikman-is-gay stories, now infamous in San Francisco for writing hundreds of columns about Steve Mariucci with Mariucci to this day having no idea who Skip is) can keep cashing paychecks from local papers and even from ESPN, low standards should not surprise.
No, the shocker here is that this weekend’s story speculating about Phil JackZen’s coaching future with the Lakers – and suggesting that Shaq will go wherever Phil goes, and that Phil will come to Dallas, and that therefore, the Mavs are a simply 25-cent phone call away from a dynasty – is that the article was authored by someone who purports to know basketball.
EMBARRASSINGLY STUPID: SHAQ-PHIL TO MAVS
Now, it’s Charley Rosen. Last time we checked out Charley was a while ago, at a time when the Mavs led the NBA with a 45-14 record but he was using his “Basketball Diaries’’ column on ESPN.com to trash them, saying unflattering things about everyone from Michael Finley to Evan Eschmeyer, and then once claiming to be quoting an anonymous NBA coach as saying Nash “puts the salsa on the Mavericks' enchilada, but he's not really strong. We try to bang him around as much as possible so that by the end-game there's no spice left in his game."
Of course, as we noted at the time, NOBODY talks like that. It smelled like a made-up quote. It hit the web a while before Rosen’s incredibly lame (and, obviously, wrong) criticisms of then-high-schooler LeBron James’ game.
And suddenly, Charley Rosen was gone.
But this time, with MSNBC.com as his outlet, Charley – presumably having been escorted forcefully out of ESPN headquarters – is lending his insight to the world of Phil Jackson. … I mean, “P.J.,’’ as Charley insists on referring to the coach throughout the story (when he’s not referring to him as “Action Jackson,’’ a ‘70’s nickname that Rosen dubiously insists Jackson still goes by.)
Rosen proudly takes great pains to introduce us to his inner-circle relationship with Phil (Charley was on his CBA coaching staff a million years ago) before offering his thoughts on Jackson’s postseason options. Rosen does so dismissively; he terms Jackson’s offseason retreat “a frigid, snowy winter at his remote Montana homestead,’’ making it sound so awful that you wonder why Jackson owns the dump.
And then he drops his bombshell:
Yet my own fanciful brain fevers insist that should the Lakers lose, P.J. and his monstrous sidekick (O’Neal) will resurface in Dallas. Why not? Don Nelson has been walking on eggshells for a while. Mark Cuban has the bucks and the gumption to make dramatic moves — and Cuban also has a burning desire to win a championship. How about trading Antoine Walker, Michael Finley and Antawn Jamison for the Big Winner?
How about it?
Sounds GREAT, actually. … except. …

  • Rosen ought to know better than to put much credence in these mouthed-by-rote alliances, such as the Shaq-Jackson team. It’s true Shaq has referred to Jackson as a father figure. I think he’s also said some unflattering things about Phil. I think he once said father-figure things about mentors in Orlando. I think he’s Kobe’s twin one day and Kobe’s mortal enemy the next. In the NBA, yesterday’s brother-in-arms is today’s elbow to the face (read: Anthony Peeler/Kevin Garnett). Allegiance mostly goes, rightly, to the chap whose autograph is on the check’s front.
  • Rosen’s Shaq idea is based on the assumption that O’Neal would rather retire than play for anyone else. It is simply not a financially feasible notion (Rosen’s next story, I suppose, will outline how Shaq is really going to be an Orange County traffic cop). Furthermore, if Jackson leaves LA (a possibility we buy) and Shaq wants a coach he’s comfortable with, he can simply tell Dr. Buss whom to hire. Again, that’s the way pro sports works; how can Rosen not know this?
  • Rosen’s presumption that Cuban has Nellie “on eggshells’’ is not a difficult call. What is strange is that the author fails to show the foresight to recognize that Cuban’s management style is intentional, and that if he and the get-along-guy Nellie sometimes conflict, he and the know-it-all Jackson would, too. The Nelson family helps run this franchise. In Dallas, Nellie has the invaluable Donnie Nelson to work as a buffer between himself and the owner. It’s a good setup – and not unlike the one Phil would be leaving if he departs LA and therefore ceases to see sweetheart Jeanie Buss (the owner’s daughter) on a daily basis. In both cases, it might not be so simply as to just divorce one employer/family and marry another.
  • Rosen contradicts himself regarding the history of people involved here. He pooh-poohs the idea of Shaq returning to Orlando (where he began his career and still has a home) and taking Phil with him because, Rosen says, Jackson once called it a “plastic’ city. Somebody needs to get Rosen and MSNBC.com one of those new-fangled Google search thingies, so he can dig up how many dozens of times the mind-f’ing Jackson has said insulting things about other cities, coaches and owners. If I only list the things Jackson has said about Cuban alone, my fingers will get exhausted.
  • And here’s the clincher that establishes that Charley Rosen pulled this out of. … somewhere dark:
    How about trading Antoine Walker, Michael Finley and Antawn Jamison for the Big Winner?, Charley writes.
    Well, because that trade would be illegal, a violation of the 15-Percent Rule. Rosen’s ignorance there pulls the rug out from under the whole story – and out from under his credibility. Rosen was a professional basketball coach, and is an internet basketball writer, and doesn’t know to go to RealGM before throwing sports-talk-show crap at the wall to see if it sticks?
    REAL GM TRADECHECKER
    Now, don’t misunderstand. If Nellie was to be replaced, Jackson is a fine choice to replace him. And the Mavs should take all of this as a compliment, because we all know Phil Jackson only goes to teams he believes are on the verge of greatness (though why he’s never challenged himself with the building of a franchise is a question I find haunting). And Charley knows Phil, right?
    But Rosen’s story does about as much for me as Phil Jackson’s soul patch. Both are too thin, both seem fraudulent, both fail to fit.
    Charley Rosen’s connection with Phil Jackson is wasted here, inasmuch as Rosen points out that he got none of this from the horse’s mouth. Charley Rosen’s credentials as a reporter are wasted here, because he really did no reporting. And Charley Rosen’s background as a basketball man is wasted here, because as juicy as it all is, not a damn bit of this makes any sense.