Free Darko's Fish Fry

In Which Shoals And I Kiss And Make Up

Mike Fisher -- DB.com

The reaction is sadly predictable: A guy (who happens to have one skin shade) takes issue with another guy (who happens to have another skin shade) and the occasional ignoramus in the peanut gallery screams “Racist!’’ Or “It’s a high-tech lynching!’’

     It’s happening to me now, not surprisingly, on discussion boards across the basketball world, most venomously over at SLAM.  SLAM, of course, is the long-time home base of my friend Lang Whitaker; we’ve worked on numerous projects together over the years and he knows better than to supervise an assault on my “racism.’’ Unfortunately, many commenters at SLAM do not know better.

   And then, rather shockingly, there is a journalistic post at FreeDarko that also accuses me of racism.

   I cannot imagine they are mad because I took point-by-point issue with a Shoals post on the subject of Josh Howard’s anti-Anthem stance; Shoals is too mature to oversee such a lamely motivated attack. (I emailed Shoals over there, by the way, just to make sure we’re all still pals. His measured response is forthcoming.)

   But somebody at FreeDarko did get himself a wild hair, which caused him to make wild assumptions about my position on Josh’s summer-long lunacy. He even called my position a “high-tech lynching.’’ I find that belittling – not of me, but of, you know, PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN LYNCHED – and I think the author needs a Xanax.

   There are those who harbor such “lynch him’’ sentiments. Check out Tony Cubes’ blog for more rather shocking details. 

   Meanwhile – while wondering if the persons behind this SLAM/FreeDarko Fish fry are John McCain/Karl Rove -- I’ll clarify briefly on some of the accusations:

   *Many are now accusing me of the insidious crime of “being white.’’ How dare you? Take it back! As long-time followers of my career know, my maternal grandmother was black. Furthermore, some of my best ex-wives are non-white.

    *Some cannot understand my use of the word “disenfranchised.’’ Or, especially, the “Legend/Myth of the Disenfranchised Black Man.’’ Let me put a finer point on this: Many humans, of all colors, sex and creed, have over the course of humankind been justifiably “disenfranchised.’’ Others use the position as a “too-cool’’ pretense. That would include any doofus of any color who cusses and giggles into a camera while the Anthem is playing.

   *”Fisher is a white man from Texas.’’ A sentence loaded with accusatory insinuations. I am not “white.’’ As a transsexual, I’m not all that “manly.’’ And what’s this “from Texas’’ shit? Even if I was “from Texas,’’ would that serve as a geographic disqualification for advanced thinking, or even of low-brow thinking? (Apparently not; Josh is as “from Texas’’ as I am, and he’s allowed.) I live happily and proudly in Texas, but I have summer homes in Honolulu, Banff and Calcutta. Besides, the only reason I moved here was to make my fortune in the oil-and-gas exploration business. And to meet little Lucy Ewing!

   My card-carrying liberal status is a fairly well-known media fact in these parts. (Remember when the ill-fated “Air America’’ gave me a state-wide syndicated radio show?) It has, in fact, cost me jobs in a state where the Bushes are/were royalty. I cut my tree-hugging teeth growing up and working in Hubert Humphrey’s Minnesota, in Gary Hart’s Colorado, and in the late Harvey Milk’s San Francisco. Seriously, I was doing my short-pants part for Humphrey for President before most of you snot-nosed kids trickled toward the womb. So there. (Should I also mention that I marched along side Dr. King? OK, nah. Should I mention my friendly acquaintanceship with such civil-rights sports figures such as Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown and “Cleveland’’ from “Family Guy’’? Yes, I think I shall!)

    I may be an idiot on this subject. And I may be wrong. But I am not idiotic or wrong because I am white, because I am “racist,’’ or because I am “from Texas.’’

    Y’all.

    Now, to Shoals’ counter-counterpoint. His even-handed email to me mentions more of our shared views than anything else. He concedes that Josh is “increasingly reckless, arrogant, and self-destructive.’’ That’s just one of the points Shoals and I agree on. Others:  Josh Howard is a favorite of both of us. Josh Howard frustrates both of us. We both think Josh – if he “had his shit together’’ (Shoals’ words) – could make important differences in areas he cares about. Neither of us want to see him “crucified,’’ and both of us have a “vested interest’’ in that.

    And both of us really like the movie “Being There’’ – though Shoals thinks I am being unfair to characterize Josh as a real-life Chauncey Gardiner.

    Most notable, Fish-frying peanut gallery: See how we accomplished that without name-calling, accusations of racism or making fun of the fact that I’m a mixed-race tranny who loves Lucy Ewing?

    Y’all?

1023am sept 19 2008