Mavs-At-Utah: Three Things I Know I Think I Know

Three Things I Know I Think I Know about the Mavs at Utah tonight, featuring a Hollinger heckle, a Dirk desire and some infirmary info:

   I KNOW I THINK I KNOW 1: The ESPN.com John Hollinger System Of Playoff Prediction And Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars is, I guess, marvelously complex. There are cogs and test tubes and computer chips and everything and I don’t even bother trying to comprehend it all anymore.

   But today comes word that the Mavs are 92.2-percent likely to make the NBA Playoffs!

   Whee! … Whee! … Wait. …

  Isn’t this complication conclusion truly just some terribly non-complicated combination of self-fulfillingness and self-evidence?
  If the Mavs lose six of nine and fall to ninth in the West, Hollinger’s whizmo-gizmo machine spits out a low probability of them making the NBA Playoffs.

If then, the exact same Mavs team wins four straight (as it has), Hollinger’s whizmo-gizmo machine spits out. …

   Wow! We’re 92.2 percent likely to make the NBA Playoffs!

   Whee! … Whee! … Wait. …

   If the Mavs lose at Utah, won’t the whizmo-gizmo machine lower those odds?

  So how does Hollinger’s machine really work any different than your brain, which will logically also lower the odds, too?

   I’m confused. By The John Hollinger System Of Playoff Prediction And Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars. But also by myself. Because when I react to Hollinger’s results, I’m not sure if it means I’m

a)      too dumb to understand ‘em, or

b)      too smart to pay ‘em any mind.

    I KNOW I THINK I KNOW 2: Dear Dirk: You’ve got nothing to prove in the area of “toughness.’’ Not to me. Not to anybody. When Utah starts getting under your pale skin tonight, focus, kid. “Basketball Is Jazz,’’ remember?

   Don’t think about Don Nelson going Nellie-to-belly with Malone. Don’t worry about Sloan getting calls. Don’t worry about “Utah being a bad city.’’ Don’t worry about D-Harp telling folks “You Go To Utah.’’ Don’t worry about the late (9:30 Dallas time) start. Don’t worry about Harpring’s cheek. Don’t worry about T’s or suspensions or Andrei or a snowy Salt Lake tarmac or anything.

    Focus. Go get 25 and 11 and 3. And let’s get out of there.

    You want to “have some fun,’’ as you say over on Tim MacMahon’s DMNews blog? Fun is 25/11/3/W.

     I KNOW I THINK I KNOW 3:  Oh, Andrei and Boozer and Deron are in the training room under a mountain of ice?

    Yeah, that’s a shame.

344pm feb 5 2009