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As I’ve often written regarding the pocket-protector work of ESPN brainiac John Hollinger, there is no way he and his John Hollinger System Of Playoff Prediction And Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars can co-exist without John The Fan being allowed his God-given right to subjectivity.
And once Hollinger tries to justify his calculations – his justifications that seem wrong or that turn out to be wrong – he clumsily spills sticky, gooey subjectivity all over his keyboard.
So it is with his predictions from back on Jan 7, when he prognosticated, in bold print:
Now, that wasn’t an outlandish prediction at the time. I disagreed with it, but the Mavs were floating around the eight/nine spots at the time, so they were certainly a candidate for such an insult.
But surely. … now. … after waking up this morning and rubbing the crud from his eyes and scanning the internet and seeing that the Mavs had just scooped up back-to-back road wins that all-but-eliminated Phoenix and caused Portland to urine in its pants at the thought of opposing Dallas in the playoffs. … surely after all that, his afternoon ESPN chat would reflect the possibility that he was. …
Wr. …
Wro. …
Wron. …
Wronggghghhghghghh …
From today’s chat:
Matt (Portland): Now that the Suns are all but eliminated, is it time to give up on their core and rebuild or do they give it another go next season with the "if we had Amare it would have been different"excuse?
John Hollinger: (3:39 PM ET) Their odds of getting back into it are better than you think -- they still have a major schedule advantage on the Mavs. Probably only a 1-in-5 shot at this point, but still too early to throw in the towel.
Justin (Denver): So, what is your feeling on 3-8 in the Western Conference? Is it basically just a
coinflip, or do you have a strong feeling on who the bottom 4 will be?
John Hollinger: (3:30 PM ET ) It is, basically, probably a coinflip; subjectively, I think Utah will get the 3, Houston the 4, Portland the 5, New Orleans the 6, and Denver the 7.
Wow. Dallas earns no mention as a team that can move up from eighth while at the same time Phoenix earns prominent mention as a team that might move up from ninth? Really?
John, my man, rather than faux-deep-thinking remarks like “better than you think’’ (which suggests that somehow you possess a know-how into reading schedules and standards that puts you above mere mortals), why don’t you just say you were. …
Wr. …
Wro. …
Wron. …
Wronggghghhghghghh …?
Hollinger’s whole gig is based on “science’’ and “stats.’’ But when it comes down to nut-cutting time, guess what he’s relying on? “Coin flips’’ and “subjectivity’’ and “a shot.’’
And you what is likely really driving John’s opinions today? He is avoiding having to back down from his supposedly non-subjective conclusions back in January by wishing and hoping and praying that somehow “coin flips’’ will keep him from having to back down.
Because then he’d actually have to type that he and his John Hollinger System Of Playoff Prediction And Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars was ...
Wr. …
Wro. …
Wron. …
Wronggghghhghghghh …
411pm mar 12 2009