FISHTOON: 'Billups And The Short Bus'

Until Chauncey Billups came along, most of the rest of the Denver Thuggets roster occupied themselves by engaging in on-court fights, holding team meetings at tattoo parlors, “keepin’ it real’’ on the streets of Baltimore in what seemed like an audition for “Oz,’’ ruining Slam-Dunk Contests with drug-addledness … and never winning enough games to advance to Round 2. … or to advance to the playoffs at all.

The Thuggets still belong on the short bus – but at least in Billups they have an excellent driver.

Click in for the Dallas-Denver FISHTOON, complete with a rundown of the Thuggets’ collection of juvie delinquents:

Clockwise from left: Coach George Karl (a legendary oddball in his own right); Kenyon Martin, tough enough to have just purchased a mansion (complete with bowling alley) on the mean streets of … Arlington; Chris “Birdman’’ Anderson, who seems to be half-human and half- … well, not human; short-bus chauffeur Chauncey Billups; JR Smith, who never met a conflict, a shot, or a egomaniacal celebration he didn’t like; and the gifted Carmelo Anthony, a gifted actor – especially in videos produced by drug dealers.

Mavs fans, you’re not going to like these Thuggets. You’ll learn to hate them and their thuggish, weirdo, self-aggrandizing behavior almost as much as they are going to hate this politically-incorrect FISHTOON.

   Oh, and speaking of non-p.c.: I can use the phrase “short bus,’’ because I myself am mentally ill.