Wednesday Morning Donuts

     Wednesday Morning Donuts, with the latest on Josh Smith, Joe Buck, Ty Lawson, Paul Westphal, David Letterman, Nellie, and more:

    DONUT 1: John Gonzalez, the Philly columnist, is my guy. And he and Kobe are both Philly guys. But does John really think the motivation for disliking Kobe comes from jealousy? And wonder why he’s not as universally liked as, say, Tim Duncan? 

    Gonz. … check back with me when Tim Duncan allegedly buys his way out of a rape charge.

     DONUT 2: “Joe Buck Live’’? Sorry, but dude was in WAY over his head. What he established in his Monday debut on HBO while being outdueled by raunchy comedian Artie Lange is how truly gifted the likes of Letterman (in one way) and Costas (in another) are. Joe Buck is a genial talking head with a populist appeal who got exposed. (The video plus, NSFW.)

    It was a bad sign when Buck demonstrated (and even said, repeatedly) that he wanted OUT. ... when someone who is truly gifted in this format would’ve wanted to be MORE IN.

   Besides, who did Buck think he was booking here? Comedian Artie Johnson? You invite Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange – an admitted heroin addict who often complains that life bores him – and you’re shocked when he starts making c—k jokes?

    DONUT 3: Another point here: Go back and watch what Johnny Carson did in uncomfortable moments. … he got messy, too. Or he stayed above the fray. Or best of all, he LET them be uncomfortable. … until the time when he could use a professional’s timing and wit to top it all off with a barb that would win the day.

     “I didn’t even know you were Jewish!’’

     (You young kids. … go look that up.)

     A more modern version of how to do this right: Bill O’Reilly on “Letterman.’’ And Bill is wrapping himself in the flag as he does, trying to boil everything down to good-vs.-evil, black-vs.-white, me-vs.-you.

    O’Reilly says: "Do you want the United States to win in Iraq? It's an easy question."

    Zing! Bill’s got him! You’re either a Patriot or a Pinhead, right? Good or evil, right? Letterman’s on the ropes, right?

    And Letterman, very evenly and very calmly replies:

    "It's not easy for me. Because I'm thoughtful."

     DONUT 4: Private donors pay for the Lakers’ parade? Nice, I guess. I can think of better causes to support. And I suppose as soon as I have an available million bucks, I’ll have the right to do so.

    DONUT 5: Twitter breaks a story – along with Kevin Love – as they announce Kevin McHale’s future in Minny.

     DONUT 6: Sammy Sosa was on the juice? Huh! Who knew?

    Oh, by the way: Did you enjoy the looooong and glowing DMNews feature on Pudge Rodriguez in which the author touches on Pudge’s youth, success, at-bats, age, fatherhood, driving skills, HOF future, you name it. … but somehow skirts gently around the fact that he used be a ball of muscle but is now a rather slight fellow?

    DONUT 7: I contend, as always, that the “moving up’’ and the “moving down’’ on teams’ NBA draft boards is, a week out, barely significant. Having said that, two gossipy items about guys whose names have been attached to Dallas: North Carolina point guard Ty Lawson, who some mock drafts have slipping into the back 10 picks, has performed well enough in private workouts that he could be a Lotto pick for just the right team. And Jordan Hill? So attached to Dallas in rumors that reports have the Mavs moving up to the Wiz’ No. 5 pick to get him? While some reports have him slipping, word out of Golden State is that Nellie has told Hill he’ll take him at No. 7.

    Of course, it’s Draft Time. And if Nellie’s lips are moving. …

    DONUT 8: I’m getting confirmation that I’m right about the Pistons’ intentions regarding their own Rip Hamilton and Chicago FA Ben Gordon, and that moving out a tall two-way swingman to replace him with a small, one-dimensional shooter is not the optimal plan.

    DONUT 9: Ailene Voisin of the Sacramento Bee: on what our friend Paul Westphal has gotten himself into by taking the Kings job … "This is the issue. This is 2009. Anyone own a playpen? Many of the Kings are too young to buy beer. Is Paul Westphal, 58, really ready for this? Spencer Hawes, the expert on everything. Jason Thompson and those huge feet. Donté Greene and his immaturity. Beno Udrih and his lousy work ethic. Kevin Martin's foot ailment and physical upside. As the Westphal era begins, his parenting skills will be paramount …’’

    Gee. Sounds fun.

    DONUT 10: Twitter. Join me. Be a follower.

    DONUT 11: ‘FISH on ESPN’’ tonight! I’m co-hosting with Choppy on 103.3 ESPN Radio starting at 6 p.m. … and because it’s the station’s grand-opening party in the luxurious new building, we’re expecting some in-studio guests … some of whom might be a few cocktails in. See you at 6!

    DONUT 12: Atlanta is shopping Josh Smith? Dallas should be interested? I’m still digging on this, but while the answer to the second question is “yes,’’ that’s rendered moot because from what I am told, the answer to the first question is “not so much.’’