Friday Donuts: Eat Them In Alphabetical Order

    Names in the Friday Morning Donuts … clearing up lots of misinformation. … in alphabetical order, just to keep things organized: “Ariza,’’ “Artest,’’ “Avery,’’ “Bass,’’ “Dampier,’’ “Gortat,’’ “Kidd,’’ “Sheed,’’ “Stack Chip, The.’’ Eat ‘em up, yum. …

   DONUT 1: All the world is linking and promoting a throwaway line from a DMNews story that mentions the possibility that Erick Dampier is on the verge of being traded. In terms of tone, the News has it right; it’s a throwaway line. The linkage world is misunderstanding; Damp is no closer to being traded today than he was yesterday.

    Oh, he’ll be dealt. He’s a fat expiring who can actually play a little bit. But we quoted him earlier this week as saying he’s “not going anywhere’’ right now because as near as we can tell, he’s not. Dallas – assuming Gortat becomes a Mav – is suddenly dealing from a position of strength. The Mavs no longer need to get a center in exchange for Damp, they are not hurried to move him (unlike The Stack Chip, which has an Aug. 10 expiration date) and if Damp hangs out with the club for awhile, fine. The Mavs have a pair of able-bodied 7-footers to occupy the middle.

     And, if he lasts here this long, as February approaches, the league quits linking to meaningless filler and starts buzzing about The Damp Chip.

    DONUT 2: Jason Kidd says he’s taking the weekend to decide between Dallas’ three-year offer and New York’s three-year offer. Jason Kidd Knows Drama.

    DONUT 3: Knicks GM Donnie Walsh emailed the Associated Press saying that he’s got some sort of cap-room trick up his sleeve that he can’t talk about right now. This has sent The 75-Member Staff scrambling for answers. What’s the trick? Are the Knicks ready to give away players for 2010? Does it involve Jason Kidd? Are we talking about the availability of an Eddy Curry type? Or a Jared Jeffries or a Nate Robinson or even a David Lee?
    Anyone want anything from the Knicks?

    At this moment, as you can see, we don’t have answers because we don’t even know the question. But we’re digging. …

    DONUT 4: Tak e a breath before hating on the MLE-level signing of center Marcin Gortat. There is plenty to like here (a starting center for half the price of Erick Dampier?), but even if you think this represents an overpay, you must corral your skeptical brain into understanding the following:

    The only way it’s a bad signing is if it eats up the MLE that could’ve been better-spent elsewhere.

     Understand?

     If the Mavs signed Gortat while turning down the certain opportunity to use the MLE on a person you believe to be a superior player, then and only then is it a stupid move.

     In other words: If they could’ve gotten Artest OR Ariza OR Gortat … if all three of them would’ve said yes. … and they plucked Gortat out of that group. … the signing begs for criticism.

    But otherwise? What’s not to like?

    DONUT 5: “Richard Jefferson, in a radio interview, as he prepares for his wedding:

    “I do not know if Jason Kidd is attending, right now he’s dealing with free agency, and he’s gonna be a Knick.’’

    Host: “Ya think so?’’

    “Yes, well, yeah, I hope for him,’’ Jefferson says. “He loves New York, we both really love New York.’’

    Host: “Wait, did he tell you he’s gonna play for the Knicks?’’

    “No, no, no, no, no, he never said those words, but I …’’

     Richard Jefferson with the scoop? Or Richard Jefferson, a man who is not thinking straight?

     I lean toward the latter, and as proof that he’s not thinking straight, I offer this: Richard Jefferson is getting married.

    DONUT 6: Avery Johnson’s warped self-image is the gift that keeps on giving. A few times during his stint in Dallas, he mentioned the bond he shared with Detroit GM Joe Dumars. Both of the fellas are from Louisiana, you see. The Lil’ Johnson really stressed that angle a year ago, when the Pistons had a coaching vacancy following the departure of Flip; Avery said of Dumars: “We talk all the time.’’

    Of course, to my knowledge, Johnson did not get a serious interview in Detroit last year when Michael Curry ended up getting the job.

    Well, now Curry is gone, the job is again open, and this time, The Miracle Worker really is in line for the position. The only stumbling block? Yahoo spoke to Dumars and reports that Joe-D “doesn’t really know Avery very well.’’

     Oh, Joe-D. … you are about to increase that Avery learning curve. The Lil’ Johnson is coming to town and, unless the last year has humbled him, has a lot to teach you.

    DONUT 7: More test cases in our Theory of Nuclear Winter, Point Guard Department: Mike Bibby of Atlanta (who wants to stay there) and Andre Miller of Philly (who doesn’t) are each seeking multi-year contracts for about $10 million per, says the Philadelphia Inquirer.
    That pond is pretty dry, fellas. How many PGs are getting their 10 mil? (Well, Kidd thinks he is, but besides that?

    Meanwhile, Miami has contacted Allen Iverson. And whether AI goes to the Heat or the Bobcats or the Grizz or whatever, he’ll be looking at a cheap one-year deal. … unless, that is, Detroit S-n-T’s him to Chicago for Ben Gordon, as one rumor has it.

   DONUT 8: Paul Milsap is restricted, is eyeing a departure from Utah and is hoping for $10 million a year, too. OKC is interested. But as of Thursday night, according to the Utah papers, guess how many offers Milsap has received?

    None.

    DONUT 9: Twitter? Worth your time. Instant-access to whatever. C’mon over and check me out.

    DONUT 10: Here’s part of what you get with Ron Artest: First, word was he agreed to go to LA for three years and $15 mil, a sweet deal for the Lakers. Then his agent said, whoa and suddenly the agent announced that it’s five years and $33 mil, pretty much full-MLE money.

     And then Ron-Ron announced, “I don’t care about the money.’’

    Of course, if he didn’t care about the money, he’d have never left Houston. And if he didn’t care about the money, he’d have never abandoned his Defensive Player of the Year skills to become a shot-hunter. (Because in Indy he discovered that defensive stars don’t get paid like offensive stars get paid.)

    Word to the wise: Rings are nice. But generally, it’s ALWAYS about the money.

    DONUT 11: Which brings us to Rasheed Wallace. The Celtics really put the ol’ recruiting heat on him. KG led the way, all the fellas went to meet him, they promised to polish his shiny spot, everything. And then they offered him two years at the MLE.

    Hey, pretty attractive.

    Now, I don’t know where the Mavs stand on ‘Sheed anymore. He was envisioned as a center here, and depending on the Orlando matching option and the Sign-and-Trade machinations, Marcin Gortat may kill Dallas’ interest in ‘Sheed.

    But if a team wants to beat out the Celtics and their two-year offer at $5.6 mil a year?

    A team simply offers three years.

    DONUT 12: The Spurs have touched base with Brandon Bass. So have many others, including the Bobcats.

   “You look at our roster, and he makes a lot of sense,” Charlotte exec Rod Higgins says of Bass. “But he's going to have options, too.''

    Advice to “The Animal’’: “Options’’ aren’t “offers.’’ You get an offer, you better gobble it up. Because more big fish are about to be tossed back into the ol’ pond.