Thursday Donuts: Moral Outrage And Secret Videos

   Thursday Morning Donuts … with the NBA Fire Sale That Isn't, Bill O'Reilly's fake moral outrage, Mike Modano with The Fish, LeBron smoking pot and the reason Shawn Marion can't wear No. 31: 

    DONUT 1: Here’s a collection of junk from my week of hosting from 11-2 on 103.3 ESPN Radio. It’s me goofing off with Nate Newton, Tony Casillas, Winfred Tubbs, Mike Modano. … all the fellas. Good, clean, grab-ass American fun.

     DONUT 2: So why can’t Shawn Marion go with his original plan of accepting Jason Terry’s offer to let him wear No. 31?

     For marketing purposes (merchandising and whatnot) the NBA has a siix-month rule. If you want to change your number for the next season, no prob ... but you have to let them know six months in advance of the season start date. If you change teams, of course, the rule doesn't apply; new team, whatever number, it's all new, so it’s all changeable.

    So there's no problem in Marion being Mav No. 31 because he would be new to Dallas. But Jet is the one who can’t change. He’s already locked in to be Mav No. 31 next season because (naturally) Jet didn't/couldn’t give notification to  the NBA 6six months prior to the start of 2009-10 season that he was changing numbers.

   So generous Jet is stuck with 31.

   And curious Marion goes with 0.

     DONUT 3: Are the Bobcats “strapped for cash’’ in the sense that there is a fire sale a-comin’? People keep writing that … but I’ve got direct quotes from Mark Cuban saying it isn’t so. And in this DB.com Boards thread I’ve got a couple of the finest Calculator Brains in the business telling me Charlotte is likely no more “strapped for cash’’ than your average NBA team.

     And I’ve got another NBA source – a team executive who knows his numbers – telling me teams like Charlotte and Phoenix will do deals but that they are insisting that they be talent-for-talent as opposed to salary-dumping swaps.

     So … no, I don’t think Charlotte is going to be giving away players for a spending money.

     DONUT 4: The Lakers and Lamar are back on speaking terms. How romantic.

     DONUT 5: Remember the story of the kid who dunked on LeBron James at LeBron James’ own camp? And how LeBron/Nike scrambled to confiscate all video evidence of the sacrilegious event?

     OK, here’s that video.

     Yes, you are right. After having seen the video, one thing is clear (and it ain’t the video):

     LeBron/Nike waaaaay overreacted.

     DONUT 6: One more point here: If I was conducting a “Mike Fisher Beat-Writer Camp.’’ … and one of my kid campers, over the course of the week-long course, penned a story that was Pulitzer-worthy … why would I hide it? Why wouldn’t I publicize it and announce that “Mike Fisher Beat-Writer Camps’’ produced Pulitzer-worthy campers?

     DONUT 7: A new Dirk/Cristal story. From Bunte. In German. You translate. I have to go do a radio show.

     DONUT 8: On Michael Vick’s first night out of prison he did what? With whom? 

     DONUT 9: The Erin Andrews Virus. Because no pervy deed goes unpunished.

      Seriously, Dear Reader. You wanna gawk at a naked woman? Go eyeball your wife.

     And if you haven’t yet come to the realization of how criminally creepy this all is? Go eyeball your wife without telling her you are doing it. Watch her taking a shower, whatever. Then spring the news on her later. And check her reaction.

    What’s the debate here? Didn’t Norman Bates sort of help frame the meaning of this sort of behavior almost 50 years ago?

     DONUT 10: P.S.: If you enjoy Bill O’Reilly’s fake moral outrage, you’ll love his take on Erin Andrews. 

     DONUT 11: Instant updates on the Mavs and whatnot from DB.com are available at twitter.com/fishsports ... come join our Mavs-followin' family!

     DONUT 12: LeBron “admits’’ to smoking marijuana in high school. “Admits’’? Sorry to be cynical, but this is no “admission’’; this was a long-ago assumption, a foregone conclusion, a concept as easy to accept as if he had announced “LeBron had a locker in high school’’ or “LeBron got an ‘A’ in PE Class in high school.’’