Donuts: Swine Flu, Original Gangsta And I Wonder What The New Top-Secret Mavs Uniforms Look Like?

   Saturday Morning Donuts … I’ve got a spy in the Nellie camp, I’m goin’ gangsta with JR Smith, I’m stiff-arming Swine Flu, I’ve got props for Galloway and I’ve got the greatest parlor game in the history of sports arguments … And after this I’m going to spend this lovely day letting a little Tom Landry Classic class rub off on me. ... Oh yeah, the Mavs have new duds ...

   DONUT 1: I’ve got a spy in Don Nelson’s inner circle. … a “spy,’’ which pretty much means a) a drinking buddy, b) a poker buddy or c) a buddy with whom my Uncle Nellie drinks and plays poker. Stay tuned in the coming days; I think I’m going to pry some drunken information out of Nellietown.

   DONUT 2: JR Smith has been suspended for the first seven games of the 2009-10 NBA season. I’m sure the Thuggets are pretty upset about it. But I hear JR’s buddies think it’s pretty gangsta an’ shit.

   DONUT 3: Seriously, I wish the seven games OG Smith misses would include every game he’s scheduled to play against Dallas.

   DONUT 4: “The things are apparently locked up like Fort Knox. But the Mavs do indeed have themselves some new threads. A second road uni ... special-event-sorta deal ... they actually exist, they are in a safe somewhere at the AAC and I'm admittedly so school-girl-giddy about the damn things that I'm thinking of going down there and dressing up like a janitor or something so I can sneak a peak.

   DONUT 5: I said it before and I’ll say it again: Stuff like the Swine Flu sounds overblown and funny (two silly words, “Swine’’ and “Flu’’) … until you catch stuff like the Swine Flu. Marcia’s son goes to Kansas and they’ve already had half-a-hundred cases of it in the first week of school … including one of her son’s buddies.

   I’m not saying I’m making my regular Saturday visit to Bed, Bath & Beyond today while wearing a surgical mask. I’m just saying I’m snickering less.

   DONUT 6: DB.com updates and assorted gunk is available at twitter.com/fishsports Why follow me? Hey, I’d do it for you.

   DONUT 7: Props to Randy Galloway for landing the Josh Hamilton interview on 103.3 ESPN. And props to Hamilton for sticking to his faith-based guns. There are no atheists in foxholes, right? And when Josh faced his Temptation in Tempe, what we saw in those photos were definitely foxholes.

   DONUT 8: Misty Mav invites you to buy your DallasBasketball.com T-shirt from her, please ... and take it from me … or her: “The UberMan’’ and “The DUST Chip’’ and the rest are spectacular! Order now!

   DONUT 9: Canada has chosen a new senator and it is Jacques Demers, the former NHL coach who, last time I checked, was a functional illiterate. Jacques, if you are reading this …congratulations!

   No, wait. Dammit! How are you going to know I’m congratulating you? 

   DONUT 10: I’m not saying this is a sign … but there’s no sign.

   That is to say, the Jazz have a billboard campaign featuring assorted members of the Utah roster … and it doesn’t appear as though Carlos Boozer is included.

   DONUT 11: A darn good time was had by all last night on 103.3 ESPN … so let’s do it again today! You get your Texas high-school football fix ... and your "FISH on ESPN’’ fix ...  again this afternoon on 103.3 ESPN Radio. I’ll host ESPN's "High-School Football Scoreboard'' from SMU and The Tom Landry Classic from 3-to-4:30. Byron Anderson, former All-America QB Chris Sanders, guests and scores and analysis and fight-song sing-alongs and jibber-jabber.

   Catch The Fish on The High-School Football Scoreboard on 103.3 ESPN Radio!

   DONUT 12: Coming this week: It’s often repeated but never duplicated. It is the greatest sports-argument parlor game of all time … it’s … the “Fish For Lunch Numbers Game.’’ It’s real and it’s spectacular!

The DB.com Store: New designs, "The UberMan,'' "Fish For Lunch'' and "The DUST Chip''!

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759am aug 29 2009