Donuts: Tony Romo On 'Blonde Ambition' Tour

Thursday Morning Donuts … Nellie’s coming to Dallas – and he’s packed his b.s. … Dirk should start a fight with Ron Artest? Really? … Tony Romo dates a different girl who is the same girl who is a different girl who is the same girl. … And I can tell you something secret and factual about your new Dallas Mavericks uniforms ...

   DONUT 1: I’m trying to cancel a car-insurance policy and son-of-a-b if this Company X isn’t making it hard on me. I get emails and I get letters and I have a feeling the guy’s gonna show up on my doorstep today with cookies. What I’m viewing as “cancelation correspondence’’ (so far I’ve emailed, written and called) they apparently view as “a counseling session’’ to make sure I’m doing right by myself.

    About the 15^th time I was asked yesterday, “So, Mr. Fisher, we’d love to help you find the best new deal because we see that on your existing policy you have just 30 days left …’’ I couldn’t take it anymore.

   “Ma’am,’’ I said before hanging up and with no anger in my voice, “I know I only have 30 days on my policy. And the reason I’m trying to un-subscribe to your service is because my doctor told me I have just 29 days to live.’’

   DONUT 2: Not to start any rumors or any trouble, but according to my close-to-the-Warriors-front-office spy, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner … er, Dallas? Uncle Nellie is, according to the plan, scheduled to swing into Big D for a social visit. Oh, it’s just to play bottle-of-Scotch cards with pals. Still, it’s Nellie in Dallas.

   P.S.: Remember in the court docs when Nellie told the judge that Cuban had made it so poor Nellie could no longer hang out in Dallas, a city he loves?

   Nellie’s somethin’. He can even bullshit a friggin’ judge.

   DONUT 3: I’m talking football – high school to the Cowboys – on 103.3 ESPN’s GameNight on Friday from 6-to-9 p.m. I’ll do the show on location from the Rowlett-at-Rockwall game … and I’ll do it with former Cowboys Pro Bowler and Super Bowler Tony Casillas!

   DONUT 4: There’s a built-in problem with these “Ask-The-Expert’’ live-time chats that some websites use to try to inform regarding the entire NBA. One of the problems, of course, it that it’s very difficult to be an “expert’’ on the entire NBA and all of its infinite subject branches at the drop of a hat. Another of the problems: It’s sometimes a challenge to express within the confines of a few seconds and a few characters, whether one is being serious, is being sarcastic, is just funnin’, what have you. Which takes me to my friends at HoopsWorld:

Robert g in VA: hows it going coach you da best can you help me out w Mavs info or predictions maybe a rumor or two just to make my day ps who really cares about the lakers anyways

Mike Moreau: When Dirk starts a fight with Artest, that's when the Mavs will be for real.

  That from “HoopsWorld Coach Mike Moreau’’ … With no real way for the reader to understand if he is kidding or if he is seriously suggesting that the Mavs under Dirk have been something less than “for real’’ and if he is seriously suggesting that the Mavs under Dirk would be more credible in the eyes of an actual “coach’’ if Dirk Nowitzki would march up to Ron Artest and “start a fight’’ with him.

   I’m in a charitable mood. And HoopsWorld really is my friend. (Long-form evidence of that in the coming days.) So I’m going to go with “kidding.’’

   DONUT 6: DB.com updates and assorted gunk is available at twitter.com/fishsports Why follow me? Hey, I’d do it for you.

   DONUT 7: Here’s the info on the Mavs’ “NBA 101: Basketball For Women.'' Info ... Bob O, Coop and Followill … plus an adorable logo!

   DONUT 8: Misty Mav invites you to buy your DallasBasketball.com T-shirt from her, please ... and take it from me … or her: “The UberMan’’ and “The DUST Chip’’ and the rest are spectacular! Order now! Oh, and take advantage of the Dirk September Special … you might win Dirk’s jersey!

   DONUT 9: I'm about thisfaraway from arranging with MavCowTickets to create a DallasBasketball.com ticket-buying special for you. News should be coming this morning. ...

   DONUT 10: An attempt from Minnesota to justify Ricky Rubio not being in Minnesota from Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis Star Tribune: "With Ricky Rubio, the 2009-2010 Wolves would have won few games and drawn few fans. Without Rubio, the 2009-2010 Wolves will win few games and draw few fans. Rubio might have attracted a couple of curious crowds early in the season, but he wouldn't have changed the Wolves' plight ...''

   So none of this mattered? Trying to keep him, trying to negotiate with him, trying to negotiate with Spain, none of it?

   I hate to ask such a stupid question -- because certainly I'm missing something -- but if Rubio leaving doesn't matter, that means Rubio coming wouldn't have mattered.

    And if that's the case, why did they even draft him?

   DONUT 11: Tony Romo’s dating life: Meet the new babe. Same as the old babe.

   Seriously, it seems our boy Tony Romeo has a type.

   No, not necessarily somebody who has blonde hair.

   Necessarily somebody who has blonde ambition.

   DONUT 12: Tom Hicks reportedly has six potential buyers for the Texas Rangers … and reportedly has MLB breathing down his financial neck.

   DONUT 13: And your baker’s dozen donut, and it's a mini-scoop for those of us who care deeply: The new Mavs uniforms will not prominently feature the color green.

The DB.com Store: New designs, "The UberMan,'' "Fish For Lunch'' and "The DUST Chip''!

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859am sept 3 2009