Mavs Tuesday Donuts: Fat, Drunk And Stupid

"Animal House'' jokes, "Daddy Dirk'' jokes, satisfied DallasBasketball.com customers, Dennis Rodman, Paris Hilton and robots!! That's what the Tuesday Morning Donuts mean to me.

    DONUT 1: My reflections of Texas-OU Weekend?

    Dean Wormer was wrong. Fat, drunk and stupid IS apparently a way to get through college.

    DONUT 2: Carlos did some shopping in the DB.com Store last week. As his reward, he landed four tickets to Saturday’s Mavs-Cavs game, with the help of MavCowTickets.com.

      Carlos writes about his experience:

      Fish,

     I'd like to first thank you again for your time in running DallasBasketball and providing us Mavs fans with great insider info, and great general analysis. I know it is sometimes a thankless job, but I know more times than not your hard work is appreciated by the readers, me being one of them.

    My Saturday was a pretty eventful one, I'm a UT grad, and I had tickets to the TX/OU which proved to be pretty nerve racking, but came out with a good outcome for us Horns. Even more nerve racking was trying to get home on the DART rail in time for the Mavs game, but I was able to get home, then back to the AAC for the tip.

     Although we played the Cavs D-League it was alot of fun to see the old and new Mavs out there live. My favorite part was seeing Roddy out there tearing it up. It's hard to really appreciate his speed, ball handling skill, and defensive ability without seeing it live. The first half PA was great too, by far the best I've heard from the couple of pre season games I've been to. The HD screens look beautiful, and seeing the transition game without Josh and Marion in it made me giddy to think about how great its going to be when we can get some chemistry and rhythm after some games playing with our potential starting 5.

    Again, thanks alot for the content and opportunities like these. Continue the great work!

    Carlos Gutierrez

    DONUT 3: DallasBasketball.com T-shirts, anyone?

     DONUT 4: Big story: A woman claims Dennis Rodman grabbed her crotch. Bigger story: There’s been a couple of nights in the last 20 years when Dennis Rodman DIDN’T grab a woman’s crotch.

     DONUT 5: On Monday I wrote about Dirk Nowitzki nursing along a baby hook. I cannot believe I missed the punchline, so 24 hours later, here it is:

    Better that Dirk is spending his fall nursing a baby hook than nursing an actual baby.

    Pa-dum-dum.

     DONUT 6: Tonight’s game is in Pittsburgh. At 6:30. On HDNet. The channel schedule from HDNet is here.

     DONUT 7: Readers of this space will not be stunned by this link, which further reveals how for the stars, NBA travel seems to be an excuse to make celebrity-party appearances. It’s the Paris Hiltonization of the NBA, and because there is too much fun and too much money to be had for the Dwyane Wades of the basketball world (and everyone else from Shaq to Josh Howard), there is no way to put this toothpaste back in the tube.

    DONUT 8: No movement that I know of in the “Ass Is Grass’’ situation. Shawne Williams isn’t wanted here, he doesn’t want to be here, but he’s guaranteed $2.4 million so the two sides are stuck with each other – to the point that when the Monday deadline comes, he may keep the 15^th roster spot without ever being assigned a uniform.

    Unless Dallas finds a way to dump Shawne in a trade, that will mean the release of both Nathan Jawai and Jake Voskuhl. And keep this in mind: Even if Williams is somehow dealt, that would likely mean another player comes back in return – so Jawai and Voskuhl are still an overflow.

    Thus, of course, the Mavs’ desire to package Shawne Williams’ in a multi-player deal (3-for-1?) that would represent the finest of fine print on the transaction wire but have some significance in the Dallas locker room.

    DONUT 9: Sportswriting done by robots! Read this …  you know what? You stick in there a one-paragraph, one-sentence, one-word “ridiculous!’’ or two, and you’ve got yourself a major-metro columnist.

    DONUT 10: From the  Contra Costa Times, where Stephen Jackson is promising there won't be any drama drama between him and Kobe Bryant tonight in Ontario.

    “I guarantee you I won't feed into the nonsense,' Jackson said. “Because I know if it comes down to it, if we had a real fight, I know what would happen.

    Two points:

    One, Capt. Jack is going to “leave it alone’’ and avoid the “drama’’ and not actually fight Kobe. But he’s not going to do any of that until after he makes it clear that he could beat the hell out of Kobe if he wanted to. Yes, way to “leave it alone’’ and avoid the “drama.’’

    Two, I’m not nearly as concerned about Stephen Jacking up somebody on the other team as I am Stephen Jacking up somebody in his own organization.

    DONUT 11: “Desperation’’? Or “genius’’? If you’re gonna put a curtain or a tarp over unused seats, you might as well slap an ad on there.

   DONUT 12: Odd situation with Delonte West. He is not physically injured. He is practicing with the Cavs. He is traveling with the Cavs. But he is not being allowed to play in the games and has not met with the media since his gun-totin’ incident.

I think the key here is that West is not physically injured. I applaud the Cavs for recognizing that there can be unhealed wounds that have nothing to do with muscle and bones.

   DONUT 13: This Nets promotion would be pretty sweet: For $25,000 I can have Brook Lopez come to my bar mitzvah!

   The only issues: I don’t like the Nets. I don’t like Brook Lopez. I don’t have $25,000. And I’m not Jewish. But otherwise, helluva deal.

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919am oct 20 2009