Mavs Donuts: 'Melo, Durant ... And Then Dirk?

Since when are Carmelo and Durant better than Dirk? … Yes to Shawn Marion on Friday, but for Josh Howard it’s an “I-don’t-know’’ … sExPSN ... KG is a cartoon … Donnie Nelson has GM imitators … It’s Mavs Thursday Morning Donuts! …

    DONUT 1: SLAM is cranking out its rankings of the top 50 players in the NBA. It reached Dirk Nowitzki at No. 9, and while that seems low, heck. … The UberMan as a top-10 player?

    That’s close enough for me.

    But upon further review …  

    DONUT 2: The lengthy piece explaining the selection of Nowitzki at No. 9 is actually an apology for ranking him so high! From SLAM:

    “I know what you’re thinking, and honestly, I can’t blame you. Before I go and make the case for the most versatile 7-footer in NBA history, I thought I’d combat any initial dissent … There’s no getting around the fact that … (Dirk) … has two demerits on his NBA legacy. …’’

    Did you catch that? SLAM assumes that the first “thing you’re thinking’’ about Nowitzki is, basically, that he sucks.

     And, upon further further review:

     DONUT 3: Carmelo Anthony is ranked ahead of Dirk at No. 7? And Kevin Durant is ranked ahead of Dirk at No. 8? Really, SLAM – and I say this with SLAM ace writer Lang Whitaker being my guy – really, SLAM, must you cater to the young reader, the “hip’’ reader, dare I say the “urban’’ reader, by perpetrating this pretense?

    Anthony’s future will be fun to watch. Durant’s future will be fun to watch.

    But consider this: Pretend that a decade from now, Anthony and Durant have played in eight All-Star Games, have been All-NBA nine times, have perennially finished in the top three or five in MVP voting, with one MVP trophy, have been the leader on a contender in all 10 of those years, have been on a 67-game winner and have carried their team to an NBA Finals appearance. You know what will happen to Anthony and Durant if in the next decade they do all those things?

   They STILL won’t deserve to be ranked higher than Dirk Nowitzki. Because if they accomplish all those things, all they will have done is EQUAL what The UberMan has done.

    Am I clear here? Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant are wonderful talents and great players. But at this point, Dirk Nowitzki is experiencing the sort of NBA career that I assume ‘Melo and Kevin wish for, aspire to and dream of.

     DONUT 4: Congrats on that contract extension, LaMarcus. Can I have an elevator ride?   

     DONUT 5: DallasBasketball.com T-shirts, anyone? At the Oct. 27 opener against the Wizards, you will see folks wearing them. (Especially the “DallasBasketball.com classic’’ and “The UberMan.’’

     Wouldn’t you like to see those same folks see you wearing one?

     DONUT 6: Kevin Garnett will be a cartoon character on “Family Guy.’’ This is like the phrase, “Life imitating art.’’ Only in reverse.

     DONUT 7: Some Mavs fans express their unhappiness with Donnie Nelson’s chronic-to-cliché happiness. I’ve tried to explain that the way the Mavs GM talks is a) a reflection of his life outlook and b) the way most NBA GM’s talk. From Chris Dempsey, Denver Post on Nuggets GM Mark Warkentien:

    "If you think the Nuggets organization would sit back and watch this season collapse without doing something about it personnel-wise, you would need to rethink that. By a long shot. Though Denver is expected to be one of the best teams in the NBA this season, Nuggets vice president of basketball operations Mark Warkentien said the organization would not be hesitant to make a deal to improve the team if the circumstances warrant doing so. 'We'll see where we're at,' Warkentien said. 'I think one thing, and history's proven it, if we indeed have slipped and we get to that analysis, I think our group has proven that we'll take the driver out and give it a big swing.' In addition to accomplishing the priority of re-signing forward Chris Andersen, the Nuggets made a series of small moves during the summer to maintain the continuity of the team. Some fans were a bit antsy that the Nuggets didn't bring in a big-name free agent ala San Antonio, which added Richard Jefferson or the Lakers, who added Ron Artest. But the Nuggets have made big moves in the past. …

     'We're in a good spot,' Warkentien said. 'If we get stuck, Big Bertha's coming out. Big Bertha's still in the bag. We've swung that stick before. Institutionally, we're not afraid to make a move. We'll pull the trigger.'"

   So what do we think of this Warkentien character? The Nuggets had a nice year … and this guy seems to be happy about it! How dare he!

    And then there are these catchphrases and reference points. …

   “Pull the trigger.’’ Cross-sports analogies. Referring to the organization’s past moves. “We’ll see where we’re at.’’ “We didn’t make big moves, but …’’ All backed by the writer expressing his own confidence in the GM.

    Sound familiar?

    Is it OK if Nuggets management talks that way, thinks that way, acts that way?

    And if your answer is “yes,’’ aren’t the Mavs and Donnie Nelson nine times more justified in doing the same?

    DONUT 8: The praise for Quinton Ross (“He stopped LeBron’’ … “He’s like Adrian Griffin’’) still seems to me, when everyone is healthy, to be nothing more than a supplemental issue.

    Put it this way: Let’s say Q really is like Adrian Griffin.

    On this team, this year, how much exactly would you like Adrian Griffin to play?

    DONUT 9: What is Jerry Jones thinking? I've got that handled over at Blogging The Boys with my FISH on FOOTBALL column.

    DONUT 10: There are rumors of ESPN-Bristol employees and their sexual antics; the sports blogosphere is now up to its pantwaist in 'em. (Actually, because ESPN-Bristol employees apparently have their pantwaists down around their ankles ... oh, you know what I mean).

    Two takes here:

    One, if Steve Phillips or whomever is going to sneak around on his wife, shouldn't he, well, sneak? Doesn't posing with one's mistress represent bad form? 

    Two, powerful men in an ego-driven business have consensual sex with female subordinates who want a piece of that power.

    Since when is this news?

    DONUT 11: Back when the Mavs cared – that is, before the JV game in Pittsburgh – Dallas had the second-highest point differential in the NBA preseason at 9.2. If the Mavs intended on using the preseason to “establish’’ a few things … and I think they did … Friday in Houston and the final preseason outing offers a chance to get back on that right path.

    Of course, if Shawn Marion plays, that changes everything. We will no longer concern ourselves with how the team looks, whether the team wins, or how stuff like “point differential’’ settles itself.

    We will concern ourselves only with whether Trix looks as if he is within four days of helping this team start the real season 1-0.

   DONUT 12: And because it seems Josh Howard won’t be quite ready to go on Friday, we’ll be flying blind as we await his debut at the start of games that matter.