Mavs Monday Donuts: How Is Dirk Anything Like Tiger?

Monday Morning Mavs Donuts: … Tiger’s ho’-in-ones are everywhere! ... NBA.com says Tiger and Dirk have something in common?! ... Here comes Oprah to the rescue ... Iverson agrees to maybe practice ... Dwight Howard throws a spitball ... Donaghy did it all for just $100,000 -- but it's not really his fault. ... Enjoy!

   DONUT 1: What a strange, reaching attempt by NBA.com to tie Dirk Nowitzki to the Tiger Woods News of the Day:

   “If anybody can understand a bit of what Tiger Woods is going through, it's Nowitzki, who had an entire raft of domestic turmoil become public last year. The German seems to have put those issues behind him -- which were easier to do since he never married the girl -- and a weight seems to have been lifted from Nowitzki … Makes one wonder just how good Tiger can be once he gets past this mess.’’

     How is Dirk dating a single girl and being deceived by her anything like Tiger dating 18 ho’s-in-one and being the deceiver?

    Dirk is NOTHING like Tiger Woods.

    A better comparison: Dirk, the victim in his sad relationship, is a little like Elin Woods.

   DONUT 2: Jamie Jungers makes it four. ... Oops, now it’s up to seven if you believe the porn star.  ... No, wait, it’s soon to be eight, it is said, counting the very-non-model-ish lady who says she fell in love with Tiger while working at a Perkins Pancake House near his mansion. Or 12. How about 18? Let’s play 36? When does this end?

   DONUT 3: It ends, PR-wise, of course, when Tiger gets one final pick from a batch of women: This batch of women includes Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters and Oprah.

    DONUT 4:  Allen Iverson is in Philly tonight to make his debut with his new/old team (the Sixers) against one of his old teams (the Nuggets) and word is A.I. has agreed to “abide by the team rules and practice with the team.’’

    Practice? We talkin’ ‘bout practice?

   DONUT 5: Before the other team shoots a free throw, the refs hand the ball to Orlando’s Dwight Howard … and he spits on it? A spitball in basketball? Is that sanitary? Is that legal? 

   DONUT 6: Our friends at Bella near the American Airlines Center want to show all of us DallasBasketball.commers a good time. … so starting right now, all you have to do is show your ticket or your ticket stub on gameday/night and Bella will give you a free beer, wine or Grey Goose drink! Say hi to Tony and Peaches and the rest of the gang and enjoy one of the coolest scenes in town … Bella & Basketball and a free drink, courtesy of DB.com!

   So we'll see you Tuesday before, during and after the Suns-Mavs game! 

   P.S: Yes, if you smile real nice, they’ll do it for your Stars ticket/stub, too!

   DONUT 7: Almost as good as spitting on the ball: What if you are the point guard ... you're holding the ball ... and you realize your shoe is untied? What you do if you are the other team and you are the Chicago Bulls, apparently, is you politely allow the man to tie his show.

    DONUT 8: The DB.com Store is at your service! Let “The UberMan’’ help you with your holiday shopping for that special Mavs fan! Check us out at The DB.com Store

    DONUT 9: Here’s the breakdown of Tim Donaghy’s visit with “60 Minutes,’’ if you’re interested. 

     Two things jump out at me:

    *Donaghy –using his inside knowledge -- bet on NBA games and made $100,000. Just 100 grand? How is that even close to being worth it?

    *Donaghy said that “I certainly made some terrible choices to do what I did’’ … (do you sense a “but’’ coming here?) … “But the culture that existed within the game of the NBA enabled me to be able to do this at a very successful rate.’’

     In other words, it’s not really Tim’s fault.

    DONUT 10: That suggestion from Commissioner David Stern that we’ll see a woman playing in the NBA in the next 10 years? Even someone as forward-thinking as Phil JackZen knows that the notion – while politically correct and even enticing to some -- doesn’t pass the Logic Test.  

    DONUT 11: The Southwest Division measuring stick in many ways is San Antonio, of course. So the Mavs can take solace in the fact that they are are 14-7 and have a three-game lead on the 9-8 Spurs, who have also lost two in a row ... Meanwhile, Dallas has played 12 road games while the Spurs have played just five roadies! (Similar to the Lakers, who so far have pocketed 15 homies with just four roadies!)

   DONUT 12: Having said all that, when Shawn Marion offers his evaluation of the week past, and says, "We might be in a little bit of a funk right now,'' I'm not going to argue.