Tuesday Mavs Donuts: Trade Rumors, Guns, Pistons And 'The Bachelor' Who Throws Like A Bachelorette

Tuesday Morning Mavs Donuts … Let's begin with a trade rumor that would be considered "minor'' in league circles but would be a real problem for any Mavs fan who is a squealing teenage girl: According to the report, Dallas would move a deep reserve as a non-entity roster member in exchange for Eddie Najera ... Details and Donuts!

    DONUT 1: The way Yahoo tells the story, the Mavs and the Nets (always palsy-walsy trade partners) essentially have themselves a deal that would bring ex-Mav hero Eduardo Najera back home in exchange for Shawne Williams (a salary dump) and heartthrob Kris Humphries (solid work here, but buried on the bench when Dallas is healthy).

    The stated problem: New Jersey needs to clear roster room to set up the deal, but has been unable to do so.

    More problems: This trade, with only these components, doesn't work.

    Possible solutions: Yahoo is way off base? Nah. Yahoo errs by not noting that this trade, with only these components, doesn't work. ... and therefore there must be other components?

    Bingo. More players. More teams. More details, is what we need.

    DONUT 2: So let's fish around: Who is on the trading block this morning? Who else might be involved?You know about the Wizards’ fire sale. … You know Houston wants to dump T-Mac. (To Philly for Iggy? That might make Houston really scary.) … Word is Portland is shopping for a big. … Is Kirk Hinrich – a long-time Mavs fave -- available? … Anybody want Memphis' draft picks? ... Are the Hornets ready to give up Mo-Pete and Hilton Armstrong?

    Is there a Hinrich-for-Caron Butler deal to be done?

    Dumping Shawne matters ... and taking on Eddie's useful contract might matter, too. But I prefer to think big before we start having to think so little.

    If I keep writing that Dallas should be intercepting all Butler talk, will that help bring it to fruition?

     DONUT 3: And besides the obvious, all this is of interest to you, the Mavs fan, why?

     The Drew Gooden Contract is ticking. …

    DONUT 4: The DallasBasketball.com Special at MavCowTickets is there for the taking!

    Buy Cowboys (or any non-Mavs home game) tickets and get free shipping and two free Mavs tickets! (of Ryan’s choice). This normally requires two-weeks advanced purchase but if you are buying Cowboys playoff tickets, we'll extend the offer until Wednesday.

     You are gonna buy them anyways, might as well get free Mavs tickets... right?

     Also for Mavs home game tickets, you get a 10-percent discount with two-weeks advanced purchase and free shipping. There are no added taxes, service fees, etc. Inside of two weeks, on any listing that says "Emailable E-Tickets," Ryan will negate the shipping charge and email them for free.

    Click on MavCowTickets right now, check ‘em out, and get some free Mavs tickets!

     DONUT 5: Steiny-Mo’s ESPN Power Rankings are up. … as he grants Mark Cuban a 10-year anniversary wish.

    DONUT 6: Speaking of ESPN Power Rankings …did you know that somebody at ESPN has the bright idea to produce the LPR … the “Latino Power Rankings’’? And that J.J. Barea is in there … along with the Gasol brothers (who aren’t exactly “Latino,’’ are they?)

    This would be a very clever self-parodying joke. … but I don’t think it’s intended to be so.

     DONUT 7: Show off your love of the Mavs and DallasBasketball.com by heading up to the DB.com Store to place your order … one shirt, two shirts, whatever you wish. … “The UberMan,’’ “The DUST Chip,’’ the retro “FISH for LUNCH’’ or the essential ice-grey “DallasBasketball.com’’ … your choice … and we’ll ship your shirts right away via PRIORITY MAIL!

    DONUT 8: Charles Haley is trying to turn his life around. A well-crafted story here, but given my 22 years of dealings with Charles, if you are trying to get me to pray for him and his family, you are too late.

     I've been praying for Charles and his family for 22 years.

    DONUT 9: Ever since the Huffington Post assclowned itself with attempts to comment on the world of sports (specifically, Dirk’s dating habits), I’ve been waiting for another publication not truly in touch with “The Toy Dept.’’ to wear its jockstrap all backwards.

    Welcome, Forbes magazine, which completely misappropriates, misunderstands and misses the mark on the NBA gun situation … trying to tie it to Chancellor Stern’s thoughts on gambling (?) … and using the Arenas arsenal as proof that the NBA is “full of thugs.’’

    Which, over at Forbes, I assume means “full of young black men.’’

    Who’s got next?

     “Good Housekeeping’’ gonna weigh in on underclassmen in the draft? “Leather Crafters And Saddle Journal’’ want a piece of the trade-deadline gossip? “National Geographic’’ planning to crack open the secret of the Triangle Offense?

    Reading Forbes write about the NBA is like watching "The Bachelor'' last night and seeing this earnest Capt. America guy, Jake from Denton, claim to have been a Texas high school football player ... then he goes out in the yard to play catch with the 25 beautiful ladies and when he throws the football ... well, he throws it like the most ladylike person out there.

     (Re the “thug’’ reference: That horrible word is to be reserved for when your favorite NBA team plays another team like, say, the Nuggets. Then and then only is it appropriate.)Are NBA day-of-game morning

     DONUT 10: The latest on the Gunfight at the D.C. Corral: There were guns. There was anger. But it was all in fun. Gun Fun.  

     DONUT 11: This is really the very first time two sports teams can be compared in these terms, but here goes:

   DONUT 13: The Pistons are in Big D tonight and they come bumbling into town. Detroit is 11-21, the club has lost nine straight, most of the losses have been to have-nots, and when they are faced with a real challenge – like, say, a road game – they collapse. The Pistons are 3-13 on the road.
    I said it then and I say it now: Their big-money acquisitions, Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva, don’t seem like headliners who are going to turn around a program.

    See you at the AAC tonight!